Things That Make Me Say "Fudge"

There's so many little things (and some not so little things) that really bug me. Maybe it's the fact that I'm very tired this week. I spent almost an entire 48-hour period from last Sunday night to Tuesday night awake in front of my PC, only stopping to take an occasional quick nap, grab a bite to eat, or drive to the office or back home again. Information techonology is a wonderful field to work in as long as you don't have to do the 24-hour support thing.

Well, now I'm very tired, and by tired I mean grumpy. Some guy cut me off this morning. He was in the far right lane and I was in the left. We were both merging right on to a main road and simultaneously trying to make it to the far left turning lane. He actually weaved around other cars that were sitting still to get in front of me. Since then, all I can do is think of the many, many things that just drive me nuts.

The fact that I can't afford to by a new full-size American car for my soon-to-be, brand-new family of four (up from the current two). C'mon, $36,000 for a Bonneville? Thank heaven for "employee discounts for everyone." The Big Three should take hint from themselves, your cars are too fudging expensive.

People who talk on cell-phones while driving. Pull over or hang up!!!

People who can't drive. You know what I'm talking about. You see these people driving and wonder to yourself, "how in the world did this person get their license?" I think everyone should have to take their drivers exam, and I mean the actual driving part, every 4 years.

People who forget that yellow means yield and red means stop... yes, even the first 10 seconds of red. Not only is it dangerous not to follow this rule, but it's just down-right inconsiderate. That's right, I'm talking to you, the guy who's the first person to lay on their horn when someone in the opposing left-turn-only lane comes through long after your light has turned green. You didn't like it, so why are you doing the same thing?

People who drive more than 15 or 20 mph in a parking lot. There's fudging people walking here. Lot's of 'em, mostly moms with little kids. Try not to mow any down when you're leaving Walmart!

People who aren't driving with the flow of traffic and aren't in the far right lane with their flashers on. Sure the speed-limit is 55, but you're driving at a nice, law-obiding 50 while everyone else is doing 70. You may be the only one obeying the traffic law, but I'm the one that's going to get killed by one of the people swerving into my lane to get around you. If you can't keep up, at least move the fudge over.

People who take up more than one spot in a parking lot. There's two varieties: the person who intentionally takes two spaces to keep their shiny new 'Stang Cobra from getting scratched, and the other who is just too inconsiderate to stay between the lines when they pull into their space. For the former, just because you spent $40K on your car, and I spent $13K on mine, doesn't mean I don't want my car to get scratched by some inconsiderate fudge-nut any less than you do. As for the latter, well, you're probably that inconsiderate fudge-nut.

Spoofed web-pages that are just there to sell you something. These are the sites in a list of search results that have the hyphenated web address but seem to have an official sounding title. When you open one of these pages, it's just a list of links to ads that will probably end up loading spy-ware or viruses on to your PC. I found the first 8 out of 10 links on Yahoo were this type of page when I did a search for "Mustang Cobra" to look up the price in the last paragraph. At this point, I still don't know if that price is accurate. I could go on about all the things that bug me about the internet, but this is a car site, so I'll try to keep it to that. But remember, I'm tired, so I may veer off here and there.

Building on that "staying in one space" topic, if you don't know how to easily park your Suburban in between other cars at the mall, then you probably shouldn't be driving it. You're probably the same person who can't seem to stay in one lane when making a left in one of those double left turning lanes. Again, retake the drivers test every 4 years. And if you're going to purchase an SUV, you should be required to pass a special exam before you can even test-drive it.

Vehix.com TV commercials. Are these the most annoying commercials on TV or what? Great concept you got there... "what people really want to do when looking at a car" or some crap like that. The very worst example has to be the spot with the lady who goes in the side door of the minivan and starts spinning around back and forth to get the "360-degree view" of the interior. Yeah, I know I've always wanted to do that... fudge!!!

That 120-year old dancing nut-job on the Six Flags commercials. Make it stop for crying out loud!!!

Last, but not least, this one's for all my Olds buddies out there. It's pronounced "Four-Four-Two." It's not "Four Forty-two" and it's not the size of any engine Oldsmobile ever built. The worst is hearing some alleged automotive expert on a Saturday afternoon TV show about cars pronounce it wrong. I guess I should give him some credit for at least acknowledging the existence of Oldsmobile and featuring one on his show. On second thought...

FUDGE!!!!!

Hey!! Send me an email and tell me what makes you say "Fudge." I'll post some of the best submissions in a future article. Please keep it car related and try to keep it somewhat clean.